How Death Became Me

Ten years ago today, my world changed in an instant.

My father died.

My childhood hero left this mortal coil.

The pain of death can definitely feel overwhelming. And I handled it the only way I knew how to then — with red wine and valium so that I could tend to the things I felt obliged to do, and not feel anything at the same time.

And I thought I did well with that practice until two years ago when I had to grieve his death, along with the unexpected passing of a beautiful, newly married and pregnant friend, but that’s another story you can read about soon.

The worst day of my life was his funeral. But as it turned out, it was also the best day of my life. Because I chose to pay attention to the little voice that was shouting at me:

“Get healthy!”

Standing and feeling numb in the cold, dark and grey November drizzle, watching his coffin being lowered into Mother Earth, it was all I could hear:

“Get healthy!”

I had no idea what that even meant, as health was something that was never discussed in the Fowler family. Autoimmune disorders were the usual topic around the dinner table — someone in our family was always sick, including me. Ironically, my nana worked in a hospital while my father was an architect who specialised in designing them.

“Get healthy!”

Even though I didn’t know how I was going to do it, I knew that I had to find a way.

And even under the influence of red wine and valium, I couldn’t deny the feeling in my gut when I heard the voice. The feeling that told me if I didn’t listen, I would be following him into the grave sooner rather than later.

In that instant, his death became my rebirth.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

For every dark side, there is a light side you just can’t see.

And the light is the catalyst that makes change happen, which makes you grow.

But most of us are all afraid of change, because we’ve been conditioned to fear what we can’t see in front of us.

So take a deep breath and release the old you to death. We must die to our old self to become new in alignment with our body, mind and spirit.

Accept and embrace the change.

There is no other way.

I’ve now surrendered to dancing with its flow.

With love,


P.S. If you’re looking for change and a shift in your self-awareness, book a call with me  — I’m here to support you on your journey.




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AKA The Thought Shifter, Author, Speaker, Mentor

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