Four-and-a-half years ago in my first year of being an entrepreneur, I hired a business coach, wrote and self-published a book, and began taking 1-2-1 clients on. I would give, give, give of myself to the few clients I had because being new to the fitness and health industry I was getting involved in, I didn’t believe in my worth. I was rapidly approaching 50 and still had rolls of flesh on my belly even after losing 100lbs, and because I didn’t look like the younger fitness models in their cute yoga kit, I told myself I had to prove to everyone that I was fit enough to do the job.
But at the same time, my personal life was falling apart.
The man I thought I would grow old with was pushing me away because I was changing.
My health was suffering so badly that I don’t even remember the launch party of my first book (link to amazon) because I was so drugged up with painkillers and antibiotics: only the day before I was sat in a dentist’s chair after a root canal that had gone wrong. I had a cyst in my jaw and the pain had been so severe for so long that I had developed TMJ, which in turn caused me to slip a disc in my neck and paralysed my arm so that I could no longer work with my reflexology clients.
In the end I had to leave my relationship, which meant I made myself homeless (it was his house) and the only thing that kept me eating were my few personal training clients while I couch surfed with generous friends.
This chaos lasted for 18 months and I ended up having to take a part-time job to help pay bills, and having worked a freelancer for 20 years before becoming an entrepreneur, I knew that working for someone else would be difficult. I wasn’t quite prepared for the hell that it was though.
I was having a very difficult time seeing my way out of the hot mess I had made of my life.
A change of scenery I saw as a fresh start — I moved to another country, as I’ve never done things by halves. I began taking on reflexology clients again. I decided to start writing another book. The people I began attracting into my life are amazing, I started having a real spring in my step again. I realised that I had this ability to pull myself out of shit and be ok again, but I also knew I really didn’t want to be in the shit yet again.
So, I began a practice to love myself.
No Such Thing As Coincidence…
What I’ve also learned in this process, however, is that many women have yet to fully accept who they are, to fully fall in love with their bodies, minds and spirits.
But especially their bodies. Even after losing 100lbs I struggle with catching my reflection and not turning on the critical switch. To this day I have to work at looking in the mirror and smiling at who I see.
So my question to you Crone Fashionistas is: Do you love yourself completely? And if not, then what are the obstacles that hold you back from loving the most important person in your life — YOU?
— Is it feelings of self-doubt?
— Fear of being judged?
— Feeling not enough?
— Are you angry at yourself?
— What self-limiting beliefs do you face when trying to overcome these feelings?
— Or is it something else altogether?
Learning to fully love yourself changes EVERYTHING. I know on a cellular level that this wisdom can change our inner worlds for the better, which will have a ripple effect on the outer world. 💖
So let’s get this conversation going… what will you do to love yourself more today?